“I wish you would realize this before it is too late.” My Mom said, but I didn’t pay much attention to those words until a few years ago. 

Growing up, I was a calm, composed, and introverted girl who loved to make everyone happy. Apart from reading my academic books, novels and writing love stories, I struggled with meeting everyone’s needs. 

Whenever everyone wanted my help, I was there. I felt obliged to comply no matter how my schedule was. The only time I said “NO” was if it felt impossible because I was supercharged, but still, I felt guilty for not helping at all. I lived with this daunting character for years until I became drained.

I became tired of always being there for everyone and forgot myself in the process. I become tired of being in the places I don’t like for the sake of helping my friends, and I become tired of always feeling obliged to help everyone no matter what.

That is when it dawned on me that I helplessly needed help. 

It was not an easy journey to switch from a strong, caring girl who was always there for everyone to a helpless girl who badly needed help. I hated to appear weak in front of anyone, but at that moment, I had no other choice. I was too weak to pretend, so I gave in and approached my Mum, the only person I trusted with my heart. 

I broke down and told her everything, and that is when she reminded me of the words she told me years back, which are the same words I started with at the top of this post. 

After calmly wiping my tears, she said with a calm but commanding voice: 

“My daughter, I am glad you realized that you can’t please everyone no matter how hard you try, even though I wish you had realized it a long ago. Nevertheless, what happened has happened; let’s look forward. No matter how obliged you feel to help someone, first make yourself a priority. If their request doesn’t align with your plan and values, say a straight “NO” and please, never feel guilty after that; feel proud of making yourself a priority instead.”

These are the words that have been accompanying me since then. These words help me make healthy choices each passing day and help me accomplish things I never accomplished before because I was always busy making everyone happy except me.

If you are reading this post, consider this as a wake-up call. Don’t always make yourself available and forget yourself in the process. I am not encouraging you not to help others, but you must balance and comply with only requests that align with your will and values. 

Otherwise, don’t hesitate to say a straight “NO” to every request that doesn’t align with your heart and plans.